totally blank...nope, wait

This life is a test and only a test. It is Sunday morning and I am forgoing church. Probably my first mistake of the day. There is plenty here to keep me busy. Yesterday we had a yard sale--or I should say everyone else had a yard sale and I cleaned the house. It is Father's day. D is working I did buy him an SD card for his phone but it has not arrived yet. I need to get the girls up to run the yard sale after I have fortified myself with at least two more cups of coffee

The hour is now 6:51 and my quandries are many. There are a few situations that I need to just let play out without my trying to control them. Today I reliquish my crown and get into the deep dark recesses of portfolio creation.

Ella started blogging last night. It is under my account and I think it adorable! It will be one of her summer school projects. They evaluate the last week in July/first week in August.

I tried to research detoxes but the best detox uses grade B Maple syrup, lemon juice and cayenne pepper. Dandelion root tea or capsule along with lots of fatty acids to attach the THC to so it can be flushed. This is my fail safe. There are other herbals also.


For liver support, I use dandelion and milk thistle:

A study done using dandelion water showed an increase in liver detoxification processes.


http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/11814465

Traditionally, dandelion roots and leaves were used to treat liver problems. Native Americans also boiled dandelion in water and took it to treat kidney disease, swelling, skin problems, heartburn, and upset stomach. In traditional Chinese medicine, dandelion has been used to treat stomach problems, appendicitis, and breast problems, such as inflammation or lack of milk flow. In Europe, it was used in remedies for fever, boils, eye problems, diabetes, and diarrhea.

Source: Dandelion http://www.umm.edu/altmed/articles/dandelion-000236.htm#ixzz2WORDDGE9
University of Maryland Medical Center


According to LIVESTRONG, Lance Armstrong's cancer site

Of all the liver-supporting herbs, milk thistle reigns supreme. Protection of the liver during chemotherapy treatments for cancer is one powerful benefit of this purple-flowered herb. A 2010 clinical trial by the division of Pediatric Oncology at The Columbia University Medical Center in New York found milk thistle provided significant reductions in liver toxicity in children undergoing chemotherapy for acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/148148-herbs-for-liver-support/#ixzz2WOJxQ03i

The study supported that "silymarin as the key ingredient of the milk thistle plant, which protects the liver from certain toxic chemicals."

Read more: http://www.livestrong.com/article/148148-herbs-for-liver-support/#ixzz2WOKNlddz


Milk Thistle (Silybum eburneum)



Now for some old photos of my dad seeing that it is Father's day and he is missing a daughter. All my love is with you daddy:



Basketball, soccer, and a trip to Vietnam....

Tomato and cucumber salad, guacamole and chips

Tonight I has several kitchen helpers.  After a trip to the fruit stand, T and I made the following (easy for an 8 year old boy) Cold summer salad

Recipe
2 pints of grape tomatoes cut in half
2 cucumbers, scored cut the long way and sliced into triangular shaped wedges
leafy tops of a bunch of celery--handful
Italian salad dressing
fresh ground black pepper.

It took all three to put this together!  lots of cutting.

Next
Guacomole

2 ripe avacado  mashed
dash of tobasco
squirt of lemon if you have it ( we did not)

MIX ALL TOGETHER after you mash the avacado with a fork.

For the chips, we sliced flour tortillas and deep fried:

The flour chips are really yummy when crisp enough.  I think they would lend themselves to cinnamon and sugar.  Maybe for a snack tomorrow.


I am thinking this is the last kids cooking post I need for the homeschool evaluation.  Class name:  Home economics.  Prerequisite:  Willingness to learn how to feed a household and to occasionally burn food.

Repeat of Kale soup

recipe By : TASTE OF HOME - FEB/MARCH 1996
Serving Size : 10 Preparation Time :0:00
Categories : Pork Dressings

Amount Measure Ingredient -- Preparation Method
-------- ------------ --------------------------------
1 pound bulk pork sausage (we ueed sweet italian sausage)
2 medium onions -- chopped
2 Tablespoons olive or vegetables oil
2 cloves garlic -- minced
3 14 1/2 oz. chicken broth
2 cups water
3 chicken bouillon cube
1/2 pound fresh kale -- chopped
3 medium potatoes -- peeled and cubed
2 15 1/2 oz kidney beans -- rinsed and drained

In a 5 qt Dutch oven over medium heat, cook sausage and
onions in oil for 5 minutes or until sausage is browned;
drain. Add garlic; cook for 1-2 min. Add broth, water,
bouillon and kale; bring to a boil. Reduce heat; leaving the
cover ajar, simmer for 1 hour. Add the potatoes and cook for
15 min. Add the beans; cook until potatoes are tender and
beans are heated through.
Yield 10-12 servings.


This was found in an old blog. One I started when I officially became a homeshcool educator. I think the whole thing contains 5 posts? It is interesting to see how things have changed from that point of so many car seats and diapers to an almost diaper free environment.

Since I helped with the original trial, her job was to replicate how wonderful it was the first time (I think!).

Since none of the pictures came out of Is making Kale soup and the end product, here is me blo9gging about how I have missing pictures as well as missing glasses.

Amelia's pool party

June 8, 2013 was the first time I have opened the house up for a planned party. This is some of the results. Jessie and Ella cooked and prepared food. Allysa spent the night and since I am oblivious when it comes to names, I can't tell you who else was there.


I think she had a good time.... I hope so because I haven't done this in a while. I consider it a practice run before dedications and the event to follow.

Virtual piggy

I need a new dishwasher and Terminix. I has a stark realization as I swam last night, that I WASTED--like as in frivoulous entertainment spending, the cost of these items. I have also been trying to incorporate an allowence into my wasteful budget sssssooo today I found this!

http://www.virtualpiggykids.com/index.php/how-to

Who would not want to use such a cute program. I admit I was smitten with the pig and the idea of seeing my finances in stark orange and white is discouraging, I need to reassess where the "entertainment" money is going--dinner out is a killer and we have been doing way too much of it. Now as for the children--Pocket money, money for chores, payment for being a child, what ever it is called in truth, I will use the term allowance. This is what little piggy is for! I can link my paypal account and make sure they only have access to their funds. This will also solve the problem of stealing that has been going on. I cannot enumerate how often I find cash missing. I am now all for a cashless--and cardless--society.

That said and back to Terminix, my appointment is on my list (the infamous Action list that is forever evolving). The dishwasher is at Lowes and it will sit there until Terminix comes to eradicate the beasts. Their claim is that it is going to take up to nine months to "get rid" of them. I don't think it possible to "get rid of" cock roaches in the South. It is more a matter of population control. THEN and only then will I bring another appliance into this house.

Just out of curiousity sake I decided to view some images of what I am spraying and squashing only to find images of Invertabrates not of the Class Insecta. Rather than waste any more valuable time (I am 34 minutes behind schedule) if will forgo this exercise.

Homemade Salsa and chips

While looking for a snack for the kids, I assessed the supplies and found I could "throw this together"

http://www.food.com/recipe/my-salsa-192061?ic1=obinsite was the first recipe. And http://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/Garden-Salsa-2 Then I looked at couple others only to figure out what spices I had for this endeavor

SO here is what we did:

two handfuls of grape tomatoes
1/2 white onion, diced
1 yellow pepper, diced
1 tsp cayenne
1 teaspoon cumin
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/8 teaspoon black pepper
1/2 teaspoon sugar
1 tablespoon garlic, minced
1 TBS parsley flakes

Directions: layer all ingredients in blender and press shop shaking lender so as not to make salsa soup.


Cover and cool. Here are the results. It looks awful but it turned out to be a mild salsa that wasn't that bad.

Note Is is doing the work. Yeah Is!!!!!

School's out for some....

More and more end of the year ceremonies have been going on: Awana ended with a game night and the kids enjoyed the evening. Unfortunately I am so far behind blogging that I have hundreds of picts to go through before I can post a sample....


Now Frank's end of the year ceremony was first and my camera decided to quit thanks to uncharged batteries. The pictures are on D's phone and he has seen fit to only sent one to my email. Just double checked ans he sent a couple more> I suppose a thank you is in order since is was lack of photos that delayed this post.

after Franks award ceremony--and honestly, I have to read what I wrote on the back of he certificate to remember what it was for exactly. He was thrilled to be let out early for he loves to ask me if I will pick him up every morning before he leaves for school. Here he is with Ms Roberts:




Trenton's end of year ceremony:

He had Ms Cook and raised his grade level in both reading and math.


You'll note my decline from the length of time in the heat. Frank was home and on the computer by the time the last photo was taken.

So now school is official out for those that attended. The homeschoolers are another story. I finished Science with an A and she is working both a paper on Hioter and Jack the Ripper. (I wonder if I should worry about her subject choices...)One is for History, the second for English. We have yet to move beyond the outline. Plus she is trying to use me as her primary source of information and gets made if I don't know the answer. Her words to me "Why don't you know_____(insert whatever topic here). Me: Why should I know everything Is? Her: But you usually do. Talk about the pressure being on. I am doing the toughest job you will ever love and I am supposed to be a walking encyclopedia. Maybe I should not have read Encyclopedia Brittanica for fun when I was younger.....Maybe it would help if she liked to read. Oh yes, and she has to finish "the Old Man and the Sea"


What Is does not know is that I will write out 6 weeks worth of 1900's history curicullum using PRIMARY sources--not someone'e head.

More and more grief

I am going to start this post with an "1" and then a "feel" because I feel. I feel deeply --with so much going on around me, I ended up in bed asleep at 3 in the afternoon until this morning. Life is stressful but I feel (again) like I am handling so much. Today is A's pool party and I woke to find the funds for it not available. That and my car missing again, taken by my juvenile deliquent. Yes, she has been ajudicated and I feel like a total failure. This is not suppose to happen to me. I may have been different as a teen but I did not break the "LAW". I want to protect my kids and I have failed them. I am so emotionally scarred that I want to run away and just focus on my needs but God saw fit to place all these lives under my tutelage. WHY?? And back to "why did H have to die?" Why not me? This is survivors guilt according to what I have read but it does not alleviate my "SEA CHANGE". I am not who I was last year at this time. Not even close. I mourn the loss of the old Heidi and face the new with trepidation as I face this day of actually entertaining. The family I wished would come will not and they have to figure out if they are a family. Until that time, I am causing a nuisance.

While I contemplate, I have been observing the bottom of the pool and all the "stuff" my kids have thrown in. I have found some solace in the emptiness--it is an analogy of what is going on inside of me.





Please help me get through this day and I am sure the update will be filled with labour and laughter. They are my wonderful chidlren who have never really had a party. My reasoning was that once I threw a party I would have to be super vigilant and keep throwing parties, trying to outdo myself every time. Who could forget 365 helium balloons being sent off for the 365 days of Mickeys life? The pain of filling and tying all those balloons? and adding ribbon? The whole ceiling was covered. Do you remember, Hol? Holly held the video camera......I love you and I miss you!!!!! I look at my sharpies sketch and I just well up. Other than a parent to a child there is no greater love than that of a sister to a sister. To both of my beutiful siblings....H2 I cannot talk to you right now. I hurt so much and you don't want to face your loss but know I will always be with you in spirit.

Grasping grief and forging through it

It has been a period of time where I actually analyzed where I am in processing H's suicide. I have contacted a Grief group that meets on Wednesday so I can get help for dealing with this minus my family members who have not been able to even start the process. H-2 said she would wait until she graduated with her BA--it has been a bit of time and she does not realize She, me and FB no longer interact. She will deal on her clock. Mum does not want to talk about it and Dad now goes to church every Sunday and takes his coffee to sit at her headstone--location I still do not know of.

First:

http://www.compassionatefriends.org/brochures/adults_grieving_the_death_of_a_sibling.aspx

I however, I look forward to not being shut out and off. My grief is real and my methods are sound. Or a group setting is needed for me right now.

Links to the site:


http://www.griefshare.org/



This is Wednesday nights... In Celebration FL. A trip to group sharing instead of the family/friend support fills that void.
l

Here is an article on adults suffering the death of sibling:

http:ww.compassionatefriends.org/brochures/adults_grieving_the_death_of_a_sibling.aspx

The Loss of Future

When a sibling dies, all future special occasions will be forever changed. There will be no more shared birthday celebrations, anniversaries, or holidays. There will be no telephone calls telling of the birth of a new nephew or niece. The sharing of life’s unique and special events will never again take place.

What Adult Siblings May Expect

Survivor guilt is normal. Siblings usually have a relationship where they seek to protect each other. Despite the physical distance that may separate them as adults, this need to have provided protection weighs heavily in the aftermath of the loss.
Guilt about how the relationship was maintained is common. So often as adults, the sibling relationship has changed from younger years.. Each travels a separate path, and sometimes communication is lacking and ambivalent feelings about maintaining the relationship surface. No matter how good a relationship may have been, the survivor often believes it should have been better, causing guilt.
Anger over a new role within the family often occurs. A surviving sibling may now be the one expected to care for aging parents, and he or she may have to step into the role of guardian for nieces and nephews. Remaining family members may look to surviving siblings for guidance. All these situations are possible reasons to feel anger over a sibling’s death.
Fear of mortality. When a brother or sister dies, it is natural for the surviving sibling or siblings to look at their own lives and question how many years they have left, and what their deaths would do to the family.
Surviving siblings may find positive changes within their lives. These may include greater emotional strength, increased independence, and a soul-searching reexamination of religious beliefs. Some survivors feel the need to make a change in their life’s work, such as becoming a therapist, or working to effect a change in the area that took the life of the sibling.
Even when a sibling has died, a connection still remains. Surviving brothers and sisters think about them; talk about them; remember them at special times such as birthdays, holidays, and death dates; and may create a memorial of some type. This connection with the sibling who died does not have to be given up to move forward in life.

Left over rice

The church did a disaster relief yesterday and I came home with tow HUGE covered dishes used to feed masses. One was beef stew (dinner tonight); the other white rice.



Recipe number one

Rice pudding

http://vegetarian.about.com/od/desertrecipes/r/ricepudding1.htm

take verbatim


If you've got lots of leftover rice and want to make rice pudding, try this leftover rice pudding recipe. This is a decadent and creamy rice pudding recipe that you can serve either as a sweet breakfast or for dessert. Rice pudding is a great way to use up all your leftover rice.
Like this recipe? Sign up for the vegetarian recipe of the week newsletter to get one fantastic vegetarian recipe delivered to your inbox each week.

Ingredients:

2 cups milk
1 cup leftover pre-cooked rice
2 eggs
1/4 cup sugar
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1/3 tsp cinnamon (or to taste)
1/3 cup raisins


Preparation:

Pre-heat oven to 350 degrees.
In a medium saucepan, heat the milk and rice, stirring frequently so the milk doesn't burn. Bring to a slow simmer.

In a separate large bowl, combine the eggs, sugar and vanilla. Add to the milk and rice and allow to cook for just a few minutes, stirring occasionally.

Pour into casserole or baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. Allow to cool slightly before serving.


This dish is still cooking.

Done now:




And the end product:


My new dress :)

https://a248.e.akamai.net/media.zulily.com/images/cache/product/124x1000/8990/INDIABTQ_44525_LIME_1369853418.jpg


sing up and purchase under me and I get to buy more dresses! Ahh, I love the internet!
http://www.zulily.com/invite/ddowling862

Cursed or blessed? Everything inside.

When I think of the love of my children, I want to tear up. Last night L crawled behind me in bed and rubbed my back. B reaches out to find me in the middle of the night. They are so loving and trust me completely. B fell in the pool twice when we first moved into this house. He was saved as an adult was close by but it scared him. He is working on the steps right now and I had the privledge to take him into the pool. Here are some great photos:



As you can see, he fared the water all smiles. Or is that because he finally got his hands on the scuba mask?

Now for Scones

Recipe:

2 C unbleached flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 TBS sugar (I add 2)
1/2 tsp salt (I omit this)
4 TBS Butter
2 eggs well beaten
1/2 cup cream (I use whole milk)

Handful of blueberries or cranraisins or raisins. All three have come out beautifully.

Preheat ove n to 425 degrees. Lightly butter cookie sheet. Mix all dry ingredients and cut in butter with fingers until mis resembles coarse meal. Add egg and milk and blend. turn onto floured board and knead a few minutes. Pat and roll dough ( I hand shape a rectangle and cut into triangles) Place on cookie sheet and cook 15 minutes. Yum.



They can be made healthier, I am sure but so far, I have not gone beyond using wheat flour. Whole wheat is too dense and half wheat, half white is just kind of okay.




Now more about me......reaching middle age has changed my thinking as well as all the other events of the past year. According to a book I read (source unsupported) humans really start analyzing their lives after 40 and the age of 44 is reported to be the hardest year geriatric study.

I preceive the change in my thinking processes. Is it age? Or could it be years of psychotropic drugs? Because there is no control in this experiment (ME) we will never know the answer.

However, this is what I have thought reasonable to share. (not to mention it gives practice for proper computer speak)







http://www.midlife-men.com/

interesting that they are based on men